I recall my first few years as a vegan, when I found it very difficult to enjoy the holidays with my immediate family. I enjoyed the time spent with them but did not enjoy the holiday meal which centered around animal products. There were times that I’d rather graze from the relish tray and watch football on television than sit down at the table. I joined my family at the table, but I couldn’t help constantly looking at the cooked turkey, counting my blessings, and then trying to eat. How could I eat, and what was there to eat? There was mashed potatoes made with margarine – good but bland because the gravy was not vegetarian. The green beans were tasty, but at most holiday meals, Mom made that green bean casserole with dairy-based mushroom soup, so I passed on that, too. The sweet potato puffs were made with marshmallows, and there was that traditional cherry Jell-O gelatin mold. You get the drift.

The once daunting task of preparing a holiday meal without animal products for someone who has never prepared one before should not daunt them anymore. Meat substitutes such as Tofurky, Unturkey, and Field Roast have come a long way and taste outstanding. Offer to cook one at home and bring it to the holiday meal. You will be very surprised that you won’t have any leftovers for those not-turkey leftover sandwiches the next day, so cook two and leave one at home for leftovers! There are also tasty and easy-to-use substitutes for ingredients in holiday fare, such as all-vegetarian gravy mixes; mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, or winter squash made with margarine and soymilk; stuffing made with vegetable broth, nuts, vegetables and fruits; cranberry sauce made with natural sweeteners; and pumpkin pie made with tofu. Even that green bean casserole can be made with non-dairy mushroom soup! Kindly offer any help in using these substitutes, and they will see that it is easier than they think to make a traditional dish without animal products. Better yet, ask if they would be open to a potluck where everyone brings a dish with a recipe card so others can make informed food choices, as well take down the recipe if they like the dish. My family loves vegetarian potlucks, and this is often a blessing because we can now really enjoy a tasty meal with our family and friends.

Another tradition involves all types of holiday get-togethers with family and friends. Since these are very social situations, inquiries about food and lifestyle choices often seem a hot topic of conversation. Over the years, I really didn’t field the “How do you get your protein?” question as much as questions surrounding my motivation for becoming vegan. When people sincerely ask you about your family's dietary or lifestyle choices, answer them in an honest, neutral manner. I usually feel out their interest and then go into enough depth in my answer to help them understand. If they really show an interest, I suggest resources that can help educate them further about vegetarianism. It’s really important to keep the conversation light and upbeat, not preachy, and keep a sense of humor! You’ll get some light-hearted jokes; just roll with them and get others to laugh with you. If the individual still doesn’t understand your position, that’s okay. Chalk it up to where they are on the dietary/lifestyle spectrum and possibly with future dialogue, they’ll gain a better understanding.

Since my husband and I have been veg for a very long time, we hardly receive questions about vegetarianism/veganism anymore. We have made a personal choice to eat and live as we do and don't feel obligated to defend it. If questions arise, they're often not answered with words, but by the positive example of our vegan family lifestyle.

If a situation arises where there’s an uncomfortable exchange of words or when someone deliberately embarrasses you in front of others, try your best to quickly and respectfully diffuse the situation. If you feel that you can’t let it slide, it is perfectly acceptable to discreetly communicate that the person may have not intentionally meant to hurt your or your family's feelings - but they have - and immediately excuse yourself. This is really important if it’s directed towards or involves your children. Leave the individual with words and not tears or anger (even though you may feel that way!). Everyone has their own point of view, and you can't change how people behave, but you can control your reaction to their behavior. Move on, surround yourself with positive people, and continue to enjoy the occasion.

Vegan holiday fare has come a long way over the last five years or so. Fifteen years ago I had to seek high and low for holiday recipes that people would find halfway appealing. Attitudes toward vegetarianism/veganism have made a positive shift, with more people at least trying meatless foods. I prepare holiday foods without animal products that taste as good or even better than the traditional fare. It’s very automatic, and I don’t even think about it. If people can enjoy what I make and it is made without animal products, then I feel satisfied. Most of all, I believe it is most important to spend quality time with family and friends, no matter if they are vegan, vegetarian, or neither.

Enjoy your holidays!

--Michelle Larson-Sadler is a stay-at-home Waldorf parent to her two year old daughter, Freya. She owns, manages and develops product for Conscious Cookery, a unique vegan grocery. She, her husband Craig, and daughter reside in San Diego, CA.