I recently spoke to Erin Pavlina, owner of VegFamily.com, the first all vegan parenting community on the web. It is one of the few veg sites on the internet that I personally visit on a regular basis, so I was anxious to learn more about how it all came to be. She shares with us her motivation for going vegan, for raising a vegan family, and for starting what has become an enormously successful website. She and her husband, Steve, are raising their daughter Emily vegan.
How long have you been vegan? Is your whole family vegan?
In January of 1997, my fiancé and I were vegetarians. We had a conversation about raising our kids veggie and he mentioned that he eventually wanted to go vegan and raise our kids vegan. I was shocked because I felt that vegetarian was enough; I didn't want to be a vegan and thought it was cruel to deprive our kids of the pleasure of ice cream, cheese pizza, and cream puffs. We reluctantly decided to break up because we knew in our hearts that it would be too conflicting for our kids to have one parent vegan and the other not. He felt he wouldn't be able to stand to watch me give the kids ice cream. After thinking about it for a couple of weeks I said to myself, "How do you know you don't want to be a vegan? You've never even tried it. What if three years from now you decide to be a vegan, you love it, and the love of your life is already gone...?" So I went to Steve and said, "I'll try being a vegan for 30 days. If I like it, fine, I'll be a vegan. But if I don't like it, then I'm not going to change." He was overjoyed, and we made the journey to veganism together. Within 7 days I was hooked on veganism. My health improved dramatically. I lost a lot of weight, and not once did I ever feel deprived. I didn't need the 30 days. I was vegan, I liked it, and I could see happily raising vegan children.
Did you have any concerns about raising a vegan child?
The only concerns I had about raising vegan children were the social aspects and making sure my kids got their nutrients. I turned to the internet and books to find answers.
Have you faced any obstacles that you didn't expect or had to change your ideas about anything along the way?
In the beginning I told everyone I could that I was a vegan, talked about the astounding merits of the lifestyle, wowed them with my weight loss story, and tried to convert my family and friends. It took me two years to realize that you can't make people understand veganism and its benefits. They have to figure it out and come to it on their own. Finally, I got tired of explaining it to people and learned to keep my mouth shut. I was tired of arguing with those who had no interest in veganism, of keeping statistics at the forefront of my brain, and defending my diet to people who didn't even know me. I still face obstacles, mainly my family, who doesn't understand that veganism isn't just a diet for us; it's a compassionate, moral way of living. They don't understand how offended we are to sit at their holiday table while they gorge themselves on a dead bird every Thanksgiving and talk about how fantastic it tastes. And I am just now beginning to understand that I don't have to explain our reasons anymore for skipping holiday events. It creates a lot of angst in our family, but I am finding my ethics can no longer take a back seat for the sake of familial harmony.
How have your family and friends reacted? How do you handle their reactions?
It took a couple of years for my family to accept that we were vegans. There was a lot of teasing at the dinner table, and we often felt uncomfortable with their comments. I'm sure that at first they thought it was a passing phase, but as time went on, they gradually and, I think, grudgingly, accepted that I was no longer "one of them." My friends accepted it right away and had no problems whatsoever. As for handling reactions... that's interesting because at first I handled their reaction to my veganism. But now that I've grown considerably more confident they are going to have to handle MY reaction to them being meat-eaters! We're no longer defending; we're on the attack!
What resources are personally valuable to you in raising a vegan child?
Books and the internet and talking to other vegan parents. There are only a handful of books on raising vegan children, but I've read them all. The internet, of course, is wonderful since it gives vegan parents an opportunity to converse with each other and share important information about the social and health aspects of raising vegan children. It's a lot easier to be a vegan parent when you have others supporting you.
Why and when did you start VegFamily.com? Was there a personal motivation to create a community that you needed yourself?
When I got pregnant in June of 1999, I immediately hit the internet looking for a website that had information on vegan parenting. Mostly what I found were sites that had recipes, message boards, news, health information, and the many reasons to go vegan, but nothing dedicated to vegan parenting. I was already a regular on parenting sites but it always annoyed me that their experts answered the calcium question by suggesting we drink milk. I didn't want to be inundated with that kind of information. I decided there had to be a parenting site just for vegans. I created VegFamily as a parenting site, first and foremost, not a vegan information site. There were already too many people doing those kinds of sites. VegFamily's purpose is to bring vegan parents together to discuss the social, physical, and emotional aspects of raising vegan children in a non-vegan world, and to have their questions answered by qualified experts. Since I'd been a web developer for a couple of years already, it was easy for me to create VegFamily. But I didn't expect it to take off so quickly. I guess that's a testament to the need vegan parents have to be around other vegan parents.
What kind of real-life community of veg parents do you have for support, if any?
Thanks to VegFamily, I have dozens of online friends who are also veg parents. Most of my friends who live close by are not married and not parents yet, nor are they vegan. I'm just beginning to find some veg parents in my area though. It's exciting.
What advice can you offer parents of vegan kids, either based on your experience or what you've learned from others through your business?
Learn how to raise a healthy vegan child by reading books, magazines, and internet sites. Try to create a veg community with other parents so your kids don't have to "go it alone", and set a good example for your children by staying true to your beliefs and helping them see that being a vegan kid is special and comes with responsibility. Our vegan kids will someday be vegan parents themselves. It's up to us to make sure the next generation of vegan parents is compassionate, strong, proud, and educated.
Visit VegFamily.com.
